im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
