Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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