Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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