Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
