I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
