The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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