Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
