i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
