She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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