why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
