Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
