I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
