just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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