did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
