I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
