dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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