i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
