My first STD was from a foam party
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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