check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
