We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
