you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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