He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
