Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
