I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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