Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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