I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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