We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
These tits shall not be calmed
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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