I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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