I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize