I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
