textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize