This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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