Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
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Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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