Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize