He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
