Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
