They should really pass out barf bags in church
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
