I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
