I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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