jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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