I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
