Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
