Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
