I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
