how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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