You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
