We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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