it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
