There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The police scanner is talking about you again....
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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