Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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