3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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