If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
