last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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