I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I touched a dick in church today
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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