do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
