my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
