So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
When did angry sex become our thing?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
