i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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