I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
