So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
