STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
