Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
