it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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